i recently read an article on huffington post entitled 9 reasons to have sex. as a single woman, this article was tempting, maybe even a little encouraging. but as a Christian woman, i had to really step back and think about how this would affect my life.
with that in mind, i've decided to write a blog entry entitled 5 Reasons to Abstain from Sex. it's a reaction piece, if you will. and while it doesn't counter each and every point that huffington post makes, less is more in this case. with this post, i hope to encourage people who, like me, are struggling with what's acceptable according to society's standards and what's acceptable to one's own standards. so, here goes:
1. you don't want a sexually transmitted disease.
STDs are gross. and nasty. some can be treated, but others never go away. and those diseases carry stigmas. do i even need to say anything more here?
2. or a baby.
unplanned pregnancies, regardless of how careful you are with contraceptive methods, happen all the time. if you're not ready for the responsibility of another life (food, clothing, shelter, love) or if you are not ready to make the decision to give that life up to another family who can care for it, then you should not have sex.
people don't say this enough, so let me say it now: ABSTINENCE IS THE ONLY FOOL-PROOF WAY TO ENSURE THAT YOU DO NOT GET AN STD OR GET PREGNANT. by not having sex, these become non-issues. it's one less thing in life to worry about, and seriously who needs any more stress?
3. you hope that sex will fix or change things. spoiler alert: it doesn't.
that guy (or girl) you're dating to help get over your ex? that guy (again, or girl) that is your friend but you want something more? guess what! sleeping with them won't change the fact that you're not over your ex or that you have been "friend zoned" or whatever other reason you can conjure. just like eating a gallon of ice cream won't solve your problems when you're sad, neither will sex. it may feel good in the moment, but your problems will still be there. to solve those problems, you're going to have to work. and it may not be easy, but it will be worth the work.
4. you're not ready to have sex.
for me, i won't be ready to have sex until i'm married. some people think that's ridiculous, but i know myself, and i know what i can handle. sex before marriage is not something i'm ready for at this point in my life. whatever the reason, stick to your beliefs. if someone really cares about you, they won't pressure you. and if there is pressure, then they don't respect you and it's time to kick them to the curb.
5. you respect yourself.
waiting to have sex is a sign of strength, not weakness. it's harder so say no to sex than it is to say yes, especially with the way society and the media have glamorized it. but think about all the girls or guys you know who are having tons of sex. i'm pretty sure the terms "slut," "whore," and "dirty" come to mind. i'd rather be called a prude and have my dignity. because that's a sign of self-respect. it shows that i have not succumbed to peer pressure and that i value myself. and that self-worth is something no one can ever take from me.